2 weeks notice

ok well it actually a 13 day notice but close enough...in 2 weeks is my 18th birthday...for all those of u that know, good for u, for those that didn't...thats what this is for...yeah....so if u can, write me or call me...if u don't have my number then ask and I'll give it to u...same with my addy..
ight mark it down on ur calendar

Elena's Christmas gift

this was the pay off of a few weeks of planing with Kathy...
what I did was get Elena a Victoria Secrets gift card and send it to Kathy, but sent Elena a card for Kathy so that she's think I didn't send one for her..which is what happened...it might not look like a lot to , but for me, it's everything..I love it

Josh Groban Noel Ave Maria

Fexable key learning...

Leila I'm gonna use the same key as u....but with a lil change to the pic...here it go's....

Key Promise:

The keys of flexibility will help you to bend without breaking.

I feel like ****

I don't know...maybe it's cuz I miss ppl or that I'm bored or one of any number of things...personally I think it's both of the above...but mainly the first....
I may not act it but I'm really a sentimental guy...I mean there is probably a memory for some person with every song I listen to...thats the way it works song attach to ppl, ppl to places, and place to what happened and if I so much as think of one of those things it all comes to me...
not that I'm listening to music right now...just lookin through blogs but I guess it has the same effect on me.....I like all my friends...my real friends that is...and I miss them a ton too...some more then others... but still miss the others too...
theres this one friend I have,I love her to death,...and I write to her every day...and sometimes I don't hear from her in weeks...she's busy so I understand....but still I write her...I've never really like keepin a diary but with her it's almost like I am...well at least this one talks back...I write every evening about what I did that day and all the things that happened...and I have no clue if she even reads all that I send..but if I don't do it I feel really....disgusted with myself like I missed doing something every important....I don't really know why I'm writing about it here since I did write her today...but I guess it has to do with the memory thingie...
I just feel really...distant right now...there's one person who will know what mood I'm in and what I'm lookin like right now....so I guess I'll go see if there's something I can do to find my way back.

My Christmas present to me ...I'm so happy...on the outside

it should be here in a few daz...my dad doesn't think I'll learn but I plan on provin him wrong...Silas Paone said he'd teach me all he knows of how to play and I'm gonna be getting some book too...I really want to learn the violin....I think it was a good investment

thinking spot

there's something about sitting in front of the Christmas tree when it's all lit that help calm the mind and drain all the dress out of u and help u think straight...it's nice....and for a person who uses their imagination and mind a lot throughout the day trying to analyze things out...like me...it's almost like it hypnotizes you and sooths your mind for a bit...enough so that you can think straight

I met Andre Johnson

Yeah I mean the wide receiver for the Texans...Andre Johnson....he was at one of the spots I was ballooning at and it was really packed so I asked a friend why and he told me that Andre Johnson was in the arcade...so I went and I saw him....I didn't really know what I was lookin for but I saw him ....it wasn't till after he left that I figured out who he was cuz he wasn't wearing anything to show the he was a football player but I still saw him...had I known which guy he was earlier I would have asked him for his autograph or somethin but oh well.

close call

yesterday at around 9:45 or 10 I was on comp when I heard a crashing sound coming from the hallway near my sis's room and my 1 1/2 yr old nephew crying right after...I can't think of a time I've run faster in y house then I did then...charity got there first but as soon as she saw blood she handed him to me and ran and hide behind the toilet ....and then tried to crawl under my moms bed...like that could help any....I picked him up and at first sight I thought it was really really bad...we course anyone would when u see a kid with blood running down his face....I passed his to my dad who was coming up the stair, cuz I had no clue how to handle a kid that was bleeding with a 2' by 1' cut right above his left eye, and started ordering ppl top do things...my mom to go to the room, charity to get outta the way, kev to help dad or pick u the class from the mirror that had fallen, tellin Ethan and Vanny to stay in there room and outta the way and stuff like that...when something happens where I can't really do anything about it thats what I tend to do...that and get angry cuz I can't do anything...I then went to call Anjie since I was one of the only ones who was not crying and could probably tell her without making her go into a state of ultra panic...which I did a good job of doing cuz my the time I was finished tellin her she was laughing and some parts...what I told her was fact...it looked a lot worse then it really was and that dad was takin him to the hospital to get it stitched up.....
so then u would think that it was all over and I could kinda relax right? I mean he was going to the hospital, Kev and I had cleaned up the class so there wasn't anything more to worry about...WRONG...there was still my mom,charity, ethan and Vanny to calm down...and my mom was the hardest...a friend that was driving anjie to the hospital sujested I "give her something to drink" so I tried that...I made some spiked eggnog and tried to give it to her..she didn't want it...so I drank it...then we tried a movie..nope...music...again no....nothing seemed to work...
charity calmed down on her own and the kids were distracted ......but only when he came back from the hospital did she finally calm down...heck he looked like nothin had even happened ...running around crashing into stuff and trying to tell us what happened in his language oh goo's and gaa's and whatever he uses...it was quite an adventure to say the least...well not so much on his part....it was a lil crazy when it was going on but he's fine and alive so yeah PTL...

I went to the dentist

when I was a kid I used to like going to the dentist, cuz they always game me toys and candy after I was done...but as I got older I started to dislike it more and more....well today I went for my 6 month cleaning and I have to say it was probably the quickest, painless one i have had in a long time...mainly cuz my teeth were A-ok....and I didn't have any cavities...being that I'm not as much of a junk food eater as I used to be..and also the fact that once u get to were u start kissin u learn very quick to make sure u brush ur teeth and have as good breath as u can....
anyhow the whole thing only took like 10 minutes and then I was outta there...the longest part probably was waiting for the x-rays to be finished...the rest was really quick...thank god...

Dear Santa

the only thing that I really want I can't have...and thats not cuz ppl don't have the money to buy it for me...it cuz it's not a thing....it's a person...and the last time I checked u can't buy ppl...that this one for sure...I mean sure there are THINGS that I wouldn't mind having....but nothin that can much up to her....but like I said it just doesn't work to put a person on ur wish list and then find them sitting under the tree for u on Christmas morning...I wish it could be done but it doesn't...so I guess I'm gonna have a pretty bummed Christmas....such is my life

check up

I went to have a check up today, not that anything is wrong with me, it's just that I'm almost 18 and when I am Medicaid doesn't work anymore so I'm doing it all now...anyhow...so I first went into the room and sat there waiting for like a 1/2 hour and when the Doc did come she started asking me all these questions...heaving nothing to do about health or anything..such as...what were my plans for the next yr and after...do I work? if so where doing what? what do I do besides work? and on and on it went..then when the check up did start she checked my heart beat so many times u'd think I was gonna fall over dead any second.....and when she asked me if I've ever taken shots and I said no she kept going on about how I should take a tetanus shot since I do construction but I've never done it before and I'm still alive so I didn't see any reason to freak out and do it now....and plus to be honest needles freak me out.... anyhow all in all it was traumatizing...mainly cuz that they took blood from me and it was the first time I have EVER had a needle in my skin....I couldn't even look when the nurse was puttin it in my arm and when I told her I'd never had it before she thought I was gonna pass out or something...I did glance at it when she started pumping blood out and that wasn't so bad cuz it was already in...but when she put it in or took it out I couldn't look...made my stomach turn.....
well it did when my dad started tellin the stories of all the shots he got while in the navy....

oh and I found out that I am 137lbs now that is freaky...that means that since the FDTP I've lost 3lbs...

Chloë Agnew

out of all the girls in Celtic Women I think that Chloë Agnew is by fare the hottest one..some of the others are too but to me she's the cutest....but not as cute as someone I know ;)

U so totaly rock Dude.

Today I went out ballooning and it was going really slow and I was really bored..being that my sis, Anjie, didn't come with me this time so I didn't have anyone to pug in some way or another...anyhow..around 7:30 or so...maybe earlier, a friend of mine who works there came and asked me when I was gonna pack up, I told that I probably was gonna do that soon since it wasn't so good and he sujested I go in the back and play games, I told him I didn't have a card to do that with so he pulled out a card from his pocket and told me to use his..so I did..there was about $15 on there and I used the whole thing up...he had.."sourse" that would fill it back up for him whenever he wanted so it didn't matter...so thenI was trying to get tickets so I could get a prize and he was like "oh u want tickets?, come over here" and he went over to one of the game that u get tickets with and, since he worked there, he had a key so he opened it, since it needed to be fixed anyhow and he got me 600 tickets...it was so cool...so with those 600 tickets I got this cute lil guy...


and then he wanted one to, but since he worked there he couldn't so he got me another 700 tickets to get him one too...and the rest we..anj and I..used on the kids..it was fun.
I only got it this evening and I already have ppl asking me for it.

Score

no not really..I wish though..the tipe of score I'm talkin about it the one for my pre-GED test..yes I know ,PRE, whats so good about that...nothing really...but the fact the if the rumors that the pre test is ten times harder then the test itself that in that case I'll pass with flying colors for sure...I hope....the circled parts r were my scores, right, and grade equivalence's ,left, r...they may not look all the high but compared to the others in my class these were the highest .

New Life

not that this is all that big of news but hey I thought I'd tell it anyhow...this evening, mine and my sis Charity's hamsters...Lews Therin and Toots had a litter of 6 babies...their all pink and ugly right now, but thats how they always are...I only had a glimpse of one..she didn't have then all in the same place..but yeah hopfully she knows whats she's doing..probably does..thought still I'm not sure how many will survive...but even if they all do...within 13 daz we'll have to get rid of them of they'll start to mate and have more babies and I for one don't really want that.

Why Love?

Out of all the bloody games in this world, why does love have to be the hardest one? not one of the hardest, no, but THE hardest known to man. I mean blood and bloody ashes..I've played Risk, Age of Empires, poker, war, halo, Rage incoming, commandos, and all these other bloody computer and non-computer games, and for every one there is always some where or something u can use or do to cheat on it with. But love? no, there's no bloody site you can go online and find "how do you get someone who says they don't love to fall in love with you?" or go to cheat mode and write "love me" or "stupid cupid" like u can in all these other games . and the most annoying part about the bloody "love game" is it's so addicting. I'm serious, you can loose, have your heart ripped out, cut to a million pieces, betrayed, used...and all the rest but you still line back up for it again and again.
Someone should really make a anti-love pill or a rehab, I'd sure take it if I didn't bloody want to keep playing the "game". But, back to the point, why is love such a hard game to play? you can finally find the girl of your dreams..the one u'd "love forever" but when u have her...suddenly... u think that's ur in love with that girl there too, oh and that one there...and don't forget the blond in the back...is there something wrong with us humans that once we have love it isn't enough with just one person, we always have to have another that has something else we think we'd "love" .
I'm not trying to say anything bad about love, hey, I love love, I love being in love, I love to be loved, and I sure as hell love to make love...aka...sex...which comes from love, or SHOULD..I have a personal habit of never saying "I love you"..UNLESS...I do love that person in some way.
So I don't have a prob with it, I just don't get why does love have to be so hard to find, and once found hard to keep?

I'm crazy

I put up with everything for 2 weeks, not that I have any other choice, just to make a half hour to maybe, if I'm lucky, a hour phone call.
people probably think it's stupid for me to be "freakin out" over a phone call, but what u got to understand is that this phone call isn't any normal phone call...this call,that I wait every 2 weeks to make, is what "fuels" me for the next 2 weeks till I can call again.
As it is, not being able to call every week, as I used to be able to, is driving me bloody insane.
the point? I'm stupid and crazy?...
well yes, I am. not everyone is normal I guess. some people ,like me, need things, like a phone call, to keep us going.
If you know what I mean then it'll make sense to u...if you don't...don't worry one day u will.

Carla Maffioletti sings Gesú Bambino

this is for all my fellow Italians out there.

Do you love me?

This is a Story I heard from a friend.

There was a young couple that were going out on a motorbike, they only had one helmet and the boyfriend was wearing it.
As they were "driving" down the street a while later, the girlfriend ask if they could slow down cause they were doing to fast for her. "Do you love me?" the boyfriend asked, "what?" the girlfriend replied, "Do you love me?" the boyfriend repeated "Yes I do" she answered "Tell me that you love me" the boyfriend said. "I love you so much" she insisted "hug me" the guy said and she did "ok," he said after a moment "take the helmet and hold on."

Later that day,in the news, it was reported that that couple had been in a accident, the brakes had failed. The driver had died,having been flung from the bike, the girl however survived cause she was wearing the helmet that he gave her.

the point of the story, if there's someone you love make sure you tell them, you never know when they could be gone forever.

Elena, I know I've told u this before, but once is never enough for me, I love you tons.

School bus's...

I hate then, really I do. and it's not just cuz they take ppl to the think I hate most..it's very time something cool happens in my life, or I see someone I've really wanted to...it's always on a bloody school bus, and now very time I see one I get all bummed...for example, I knew Mary Dawn 2yrs before I met her, and when we go to pick her up from the air port for WS...it's in a school bus....the first/last time I see her too..she came on the bus and left on the bus
FDTP, where I met Elena, best month of my bloody life mind u, again on a school bus...infact the same one as with Mary Dawn....it's so annoying...cuz like I said, now any bloody school bus I see makes me think of those good times and how some may never bloody happen again...

Celtic Woman - A New Journey - Reels

I love this Song..Mairead rocks

Thanksgiving with Tinchers

Turkey,Cranberries,cakes, pies, mashed potato's, sweet potato pie, corn, punch..and so much more are the things that make up for Thanksgiving right? well those all did for me too, but the coolest part about this Thanksgiving was spending it with the Tinchers, who I've known for 10yrs but haven't seen for 4yrs..and man have there been changes in them..I mean, before they left I was talker and had a chance at winning from time to time when we spared..now..I'm still taller but only by a few inches and all of them can kick my ass, they all do marshal arts, it's crazy how flexible they are now. anyhow it was great seeing them again.
the first night we got there we stayed up till 5..well Silas and I did...the adults went out for some drinks so we watched a movie and they just chilled for a while...but yeah..we got caught staying up so late cause we didn't think about turning off the light, and my dad walked in and said we had to go to bed..anyhow...all in all it was a blast..brought back good old memories of fun stuff we did..most of witch was bad stuff but still fun to remember.......here are some pix.

PS

I just thought I'd let it be known I made a new blog for the soul purpose of poetry, me and a friend of mine are gonna be putting up all the poetry we've written, so fare it's only mine but hopfully she'll add some too.
if u care to have a look it's http://dia-shan.blogspot.com/

battle for ur sanity

I sware school is out to kill any brains u might have had and fill ur head with cnfusion and make u all stressed..I know..I just had a test in my school this morning, not good first think in the morning to go kill ur brain cells, I mean god, it's like a demond, comes in slowly so u don't notice it and the BAM it all hits down, I've taken timed tests before but this one, this one totaly took the cake, maybe it was cuz it was the pre-final test or the fact that thry added on 2 other subs that they never gave me before but whatever the reason I was so stressed by the time I was done, my head felt like it was gonna pop, and ppl around me noticed it too..and it wasn't only me that was feeling that way. Science,History, and Lang reading I did with minimal stress, some but not much, my teach was cool and lets me take a break...I could have left if I wanted to but this bloody diploma is my ticket away from home so I need it...after the break though she asked me if I wanted to stop or keep going, I only had 3 subs left, 2 in math, and lang writing, and it wasn't another hour before my ride was comin to pick me up so I took the math.
and few questions into the thing and I started to feel the stress again...a few more and BAM I was freakin out..mainly cuz the probs were no asked right but I have to figure them out on paper cuz I didn't have a calculator...I think I barley passed that bloody thing..I guessed a lil less then half the probs..so much for me being the smartest dude in the class.
but really I thinks school it out for us. weir walkin the razors edge and school is like the lil weight on one side of u that is a lil to heavy and big-bada-boom u fall.

R.I.P

I might be a little late in finding this out but even so....2 months ago the world lost a very very very gifted writer, on September 16,2007 Robert Jordan died or a rare disease, the name I don''t remember, in my opinion he was one of the best writer and his books were really inspired the best I've ever read....the captivate...the even sadder part is he wasn't able to finish his 12th book, it's being finished by someone else...Well I guess now he can help us be able to write really cool books too...his novels were awsome and they will be missed.

to close

The other night I was about to go to sleep but it was really hot so I reached to the top of my bed to get a cloth I had there to wet and put on my head to cool me off, well it wasn't there cuz it had fallen off the bed. so I sat up and reached over and grabbed it, while I was pulling my had up though I felt something start to pinch my arm, I thought it was just the bed post so I lowered my arm to move around it but when I pulled it back up again the pinching was still there..I was like "what on earth is on my bed that can be pinching me like that?" and then it dawn on me..eariler I had tossed one of my knifes under my pillow when the kids came into the room and now the tip was coming out from under the pillow and stabbing into my arm, and the arm I was leaning on to hold myself up was what was pushing it, and if I got off that arm I'd fall towards the knife...finally I managed to get my other hand under the pillow and pull the knife away...needless to say I moved the knofe from under my pillow...it's was kinda freaky but cool at the same time..cuz when I looked at my arm, had it been just a lil deaper and the tip of the knife just a lil sharper it would have punctured...and it's a good thing it wasn't those things...I like my arm the way it is thank u
'

pay off

I can't really say much for this post..all it is, is me showing the pay off of my workin out..well so fare..it may not look the "oh wow-ish" but compared to what I used to be it's good...and I also wanted to update ppl who can't really see me all that much on what I look like these daz.

throwing knives

yep...that's what I've been up to lately...in my own time...I had to take up something the keep me from thinking about......no matter...it's my new hobby..something to keep me busy, besides reading books...can't say I'm all that good...I'm used to throwing the kitchen knives I used to..the real ones are a lot different...but I'm managing to get them in the tree from time to time..quite deep to on a rare occasion..it's also teaching me patients...which is something, up until now, I didn't really think I needed work on...so everything has it's purpose.

Lews Therin

I know...u probably think I'm really lame for naming my pet that....but that was the first thing that popped in my head when I was thinkin about what to call him...I call him Lewi for short..but anyhow..he's really cute...a small lil ball of fure ....mean as a snake but but mainly to my dad...and now my sis bought one too...I'm just a good influence...yeah right.

Memory of You

The tears that fell
will fall again

the battle that was over
will again begin.

the sword that was buried
will soon rise.

men will scream, shout,
moan and die.

love found
but lost forever more.

the dragons fang is carved
deap on the door.

rain pours down bitter
burning the hearts and souls of men.

women will cry
weep and moarn.

fires blaze
destroying whats new

people stand + watch
they don't know what to do.

the seed that was planted long ago
will rise and spring a new.

power, life
a reason to be with you.

this I say, and be it true
cause of my loving memory of you.

I didn't know what to call this maybe someone has a idea

A smile on everyone’s faces but mine
I just never seem to find the time.

They all have something exciting, something new
All I have it memories of the past, places and you.

Tears pour inside but never come to show
What point is there in crying, no one can ever know.

They’ll never get what there is about me
Causes neither can I… or you.

Just a strange person in this cage of a world
Wincing as the strings of my heart get pulled.

Crawling trying to find a place to hide,
Feeling, scared, confused, and empty inside.

Clawing my face, trying to scrape out the memories
Of the things I used to do, they only make me think of you.

I build my power high,
Jump off and pretend I can fly. when I don’t have wings to try.

Trusting you that you can pull through
But can I trust myself to pull through with you.

Someone had to stay back to hold the evil at bay
If it was a choice between me and you, you know what I’d say.

You run I’ll stay and die so you can get away
I already feel dead anyway.

You just know that I love you
Come what way, and past my dieing day.

Now run away and go somewhere safe
You go I stay, I’ll follow you and be with you someday.

Kiwi!!

well?

Picture World
It's amazing what a picture can do
you look at it + it's almost like it's looking through you.

In a time that's no longer now, but before
a person that's not there, but you feel them + know there's more.

My picture world
everywhere I look I see another face looking at me.

A face of a person that's not there
or are they, just unseen by the eyes of me?

In a drawer, on the door, pinned on the wall
heck I even have one on a pillow case.

my head loves to answer that ones call.

A picture world, my picture world
it's everyone that means something to me.

the thought I often stop + ponder is
does anyone have a picture world that has me?

My best yet

In my fam my bro mike was always the best one at making things with beads, shells...and what has he...me on the other hand I normally sow things...like I used to make my own stuffed animals and the one I didn't make I'd fix god knows how many times,weather a broken ear, arm or whatever it was I'd fix....I've sown wristbands but nothin like what mike had done....so I can say that this has got to be my best yet...now if I were anywhere near her this would have gone straight to Elena, but since I'm not I gave it to a friend...it wasn't pretty enough for Elena anyhow, she deserves better.....anyhow I stayed up till 2am making this using fishing string and shells that I found on a purse.

Gelato, oh yeah Gelato

the other day we got a call for one of our contacts asking us to come pick up some stuff...so my dad and I went and got it and brought it home...this is what it looked like...all those boxes are cheesecakes... I'm gonna get fat...lol...like that could ever happen

.

Happy Birhtday Mel Tincher

Mel's a great person, we've known eachother for a long time..pretty much seen eachother grow up...well anyhow I wish her well on her birthday and hope all she wishes to come true....and that Tony would finally ask her to marry him.

huge water balloon

today my dad asked me to clean out the balloon closet..so while I was doing it I found this huge balloon, the first thing that came to be was to make it into a water balloon..so I got my lil bro and we went out back and took my dads old tool box and put the balloon inside and filled it up...I think we could have made it bigger but I didn't want to risk popping it so I made it like this...my sis charles came out after a lil and her and I decided to try and pick the thing up..

we rolled the tool kit over to the grass and tried lifting it, but being that it was, what we guessed, 50lbs that didn't work..we then rolled it out if the bin and onto a piece of cardboard ...and tried lifting it again..again with no success. So then we tried putting it into a box, lifting the box and then opening the bottom and catch the balloon..the only prob was as soon as I lifted it..the bottom broke and charles wasn't strong enough to catch it, so we put it back down.

I thought I'd see just how heavy it was, so I laid down and had charles roll it on top of me..it was a weird feeling but fun until charles started kicking it, trying to make it pop on me. so I pushed it off. Then Kevin,Charles and I gathered around it and each took a side, we lifted it to our hips but then Kev's hands started to slip so he pushed it toward charles to get a better grip, but she dropped it and it popped on her...she reaped what she tried to sow...lol

Nothin

well that's basically whats been happening with me...nothing new..or at least not important enough to really write about..ok..let me thing there might be one or two things...oh right, last Saturday I went to do my GED work right, and I got the test results for a test I had taken the week before, I thought I did really bad cuz I had to guess some of the answered when I was doing the test, I hate having to work and be timed....but when I got the paper I found that I had all A's, in Math, Language and reading..so I was really happy about that...but what made the day better was then my teacher said that since I scored A on all of them I was eligible to take the finally test, instead of having to wait till mid November to do it...which is so freak in cool cause that means I can leave home earlier it I can..and I pass that is.
OK then lets see, on "free day" I went with my lil sis and bro to a friends house and I was dropped off at the mall for a lil were I did some "shopping" I just bout some earrings and made a list of things I wanted to save up for...nothing to fun....I did get a lot of reading done so that's was cool....
then oh yes..today we got a bunch of clothes and I got some really cool shirts and a pants or two..man I needed some new stuff ..I got this one really cool pare of pj's but my mom doesn't want me to ware them...just cause they have flowers on them...but of course I'm still gonna, just take them off before I get up...
well that pretty much it...like I said...nothin really new to talk about

Evanescence - Anywhere (With Lyrics)

I don't think I need to say who this is for....but I love her

jump sheep

we should all look at things like this Jackalope

Remembering the Alamo

This morning my mom arrived back home from spending 3 weeks in Chile, with my 2 older bro's, the only this was...she didn't really arrive here...but in San Antonio soo...my dad..acually it was my sis, came in my room at 5 in the morning to wake me up to get ready to go...thankfully we didn't leave untill 5:30 so I got another 1/2 hour of sleep...yay....I was suppost to be the co-driver for my dad, but when we started driving and my dad puts on instramentle music, with it still being dark outside and me havin only had 2 1/2 to 3 hours of sleep...I was out....I switched with my sis for the back seat the fist stop we made...she had about 3 pillows with her so that made the rest of the ride all the way to the airport more comfy for me...what the others did I have no clue, I only woke up when we got there and had to get up to help with the bags....man...being the only teen guy left in ur family can be taxing....anyhow....after my younger bro, sis and nefew said their hi's we went to get gas, where I bought a really cool lighter to add to my stash...the pic on it was the cool part......we then went to the...AAAALLLAAMMMMOOOOO!!! oh wow....for my sis it was a very moving momment to be at a place were so many ppl were killed.....my lil bro and I didn't really share her thoughts...we found the Bowie Knives and muskets a lot more intreaging...so much so that I was planning on buying one...and I even talked my parents into saying yes....how?...well it wasn't that hard..I simply walked them over to where the knives were and asked if I coulf buy a small one..and my dad said "if ur gonna get a knife, might as well get a Bowie knife" which I was more then happy to...but the one I liked was $50 and my dad said that I could probably find another one cheeper on Ebay or something...and the momment it sounded all well and good...but now I wish I got it anyway....we went around and I ended up buying a shotglass....like I'm very gonna use it but it was cool so what the heck...oh and this pink squishy thinkie..it's so cool..and yes I did choose it pink....I have no clue what's in it...looks like shampoo but oh well it's still fun to play with.....and ofcourse what better thing to do when ur at the Alamo but to read a really good book...which I did, even though my sis thought I was nuts....u know maybe she's right...huh.....and then yeah my bro and I took some pixs of me since he didn't want to be on here..and then...we went to....the river walk...wasn't anything fancy really...not even a river if u ask me...but oh well we walked around there while my dad look pics of everything that moved...and didn't move... untill the kids started complaining their feet hurt...tipical...so we went back to the van but stopped at a interesting shot or two were I got to rub a fake fat guys tummy......and then lets see...we tried going to this skyscrapper resteraunt that I really wanted to go up, but then we found out we had to pay to park and to go in..so we dropped that..and started home...I was awake this time and my mom wanted to stay with the kids in the back...I'm not the lovely-dovey one with my parents anymore...another girl has taken their place in my life...wink....but they still talked a ton and I just put my headphones on a listened to what I like to call my "motivational mood music" although some of the song brought back good memmories of the past which make me feel sad..but I don't show it...ok so we get home...home sweet home...yeah right..I can't wait to leave it....and my mom started giving out the gifts my oldest bro sent for us and the ones she got for us..I got this necklace of a lizard carved outta some form or nut from my bro and another necklace made out of another form of nut and it's seed...I'll ware then sometime or another but right now I don't think the one I'm wareing will come off.....but they were cool none the less...then lets see..she showed us the pix and video on Chile and my bro's wedding and then when all that was done with..it was my turn....I first showed her the pics of the FDTP...good times y'all....or at least teh inportant once of "key ppl" and they I gave her the gift that my........ummm....VERY CLOSE + GOOD FRIEND....and I got for her....a really spiffy black shawl..I alomst wanted to keep it, it was so cool...she love it a tons...and that...my fellow readers ends my day...unless of course I can get into me writing this and all the faces I've made at the words I didn't know how to spell..but if I've even kept u this long I don't want to over-do it....untill u read again.....good morning, good evening....and good night

A place to hide

The "Jack" inside has run to hide
and my serious side returns to play

the side that cries 'I don't care if I live or die
cause I'm already dead inside anyway.'

with nowhere to hide and this pain inside
I go with the flow as we walk on our way

my foolish side was here for a time
but seriousness was here to stay.

We have nowhere to hide
but we don't care if we live or if we die

weir already dead inside anyway.

You were always worried something was wrong
when my serious side came my way

and you were right all along
but your love was to strong, and kept it at bay.

But now your gone
so it cooly comes along to say

'I knew you were wrong
thow u dinied it all along

but I knew you'd see the error of your ways
so come along, take my hand, and let us go and play.'

But I want to be free
from this pain inside me

I need a place to hide
where seriousness seldoms finds

and there I want to stay.

Give me your love, the touch from above
to keep it again at bay

your love is the thing
that can heal all my stings

and there I long to say
so,please,give you love my way....again.

picked away

people ask me how I feel
and I smile and tell them I'm fine

and they believe me and think I'm for real

but how can I expres how I feel inside
when I feel like a stone ageanst the ocean's tide

my mind crumbles and falls
just like my world around me

there's nothing left inside
but the pain and sorrow that surounds me.

piece by piece I'm being picked away
like chickens not knowing there's a fox in their cage.

as the night, slowly scraps away the sun
so does pain scrap away the man I was to become.

Death

What a beauty what a blessing

the passing of ones soul
to a differen't world.

the glory without pain will come
as the dawn brings up the sun.

the light at the end will soon be brighter
and the feeling in my soul be lighter.

welcome life, welcome death
welcome the life after death.

but for now I'll welcome death,
for my life is but a mess.

pain and sorrow will soon pass away
when death comes to take me away.

oh how long do I have to wait,
for my friend,death, to pass my way?

Nightmare

Lastnight I did something I haven't in a long, long time and I hope I don't do it again for a very very long time to come...I cried myself to sleep....
the last time I remember doing that was when I was 10, when my bro died, thats the last time I remember doing that.
I never liked crying, in public or in private, but I guess sometimes I can't hold a serious face anymore. when I feel that all I had has slipped away and the line to the boat it cut and I'm floating away with no hope or being found.
I guess there are times when the flood-gates have to be opened or be destroyed along with everything else.

I'm so foolish...but I'm also cute so it's ok

today started out as any normal one..got up at 7, had devotions, did jjt, and was cleaning the house when it started raining....my sis and Tina went running out in the rain....and tried to drag me out with them...but I wouldn't give in...till I reolized that I haven't put anything new up here for a while...so I went and changed and went running out in the rain...and my sis took some pix...so here they are...









ok...well ain't I perty?...lol...